So you have a vision or a big dream? What’s stopping you going for it?
In this blog I'm talking about 4 ways your self doubt is sabotaging your business dreams.
Most of the business owners that I talk to have a dream, they have a vision for themselves and for their business, the kind of impact that they'd like to be creating, things they'd love to be doing and experiencing. Bu there's something keeping them from fully going for it..
Sometimes people will say, “I don't have the knowledge. I don't know the steps to take in order to achieve my big vision and the dreams that I have”.
But that's not the most common response. 99% of people know they’re holding themselves back with their own self doubts.
Self doubt doesn't just come in one flavour though: it's more like a smorgasbord of saboteurs and you will have your own personal favourites. See if you see yourself in some of these common varieties.
One of the most common ones is procrastination. Putting things off, maybe avoiding things completely or hiding away. You know ‘the thing’ that you must do, the action or steps that you need to take, but you just don't seem to get around to it. Or you're actively avoiding it.
Then there's perfectionism. Spending far too much time on something that maybe it doesn't really matter or maybe it's just something that doesn't require as much attention as you’re spending on it. There's some little nuances around perfectionism too, it leads to people overworking themselves, sometimes to the point of burnout, and it can oftentimes turn up as overthinking or over complicating things as well. But it has the same effect. It kind of stops you from moving forward as quickly as perhaps you could.
There's good old impostor syndrome. Oh my gosh, who doesn't know that dreaded feeling of “am I good enough to do this? Who am I to be doing this?” and worrying that other people are really judging you and weighing you up. Feeling like somebody might just tap you on the shoulder and say “Oi, you don't belong here!”. So that is a super common one. Of course, when you feel these ways you're so much more hesitant in moving forward, because you’re doubting yourself all the time.
Then there is overwhelm. This is the fourth really common thing that I hear people saying and they describe it as a sense of 'maxing out', hitting capacity and then it's like the brakes go on. So this comes up when people feel as if there is too much to do and can't move forward. They feel stuck because they feel it’s just literally too much and they won’t be able to cope. Overwhelm also shows up when people feel like they don't know the steps to take, those kind of thoughts can generate this feeling of overwhelm and have that same effect of putting the brakes on
These are the common things that occupy our mind. These are the things that when I do mindset breakthrough sessions in groups people come along with. They say “I feel overwhelmed” or “my problem is imposter syndrome”, or perfectionism or procrastination, but these things aren't actually the real issue. These are surface level symptoms and they’re great at keeping us busy, they are patterns of thoughts, or feelings or behaviours, and they do a great job of keeping you stuck, keeping you away from the things that you're dreaming about.
So you've got this internal tussle going on between really wanting 'this thing', maybe you see yourself on stage speaking to lots of people, maybe you see yourself helping loads of clients. Perhaps you see yourself exhibiting your work somewhere you dream of. Whatever your business is, you will have had thoughts about “Could that be possible for me?”. But then you also have these thoughts, feelings, behaviours, patterns, that are holding you back and weighing you down. And it's a big problem because what you will notice is that they become habitual.
The way in which they show up might shift a little bit, but you will notice when you look back, that some of these patterns habitually show up. Usually when you want to take a big step forward. Usually when you've committed to something that's next level. Because they are habitual it means that they're subconscious patterns that just repeat over and over and sometimes you're aware of them, sometimes you aren't, but you can bet they're driving your decisions, your actions, your behaviours, oftentimes without you even knowing.
I had a lady respond to one of my posts the other day, and she said that she had been procrastinating for years! Not really going for what she wants and I think she’s in her 60s, maybe late 60s and whilst I believe you can achieve things you want at any age. This is important to tackle. Life is passing by, you don’t know what’s around the corner. So often you only realise what's going on when you reach the next birthday, or the next New Year, or one of my personal favourites, the next time you catch up with a friend and they ask you, “oh, how are you getting on with that book? Or “that idea for your business that you had” and you realise oh! I am literally no further forward than the last time we got together.
This is when you get those moments and you see what’s going on, when the spotlight starts to shine on those surface level behaviours, and it hits home that these things have been acting like a forcefield; they're like an invisible barrier between you and where you'd really love to be and they're stopping you from getting there. They put up a resistance that you just can't seem to get over or around or that even when you do move forward they pop up again.
That's because what lies beneath these things, the reason the forcefield is there is partly because you lack self belief.
Think about it: when you fully believe in yourself, you have conviction, you have certainty, confidence, trust in yourself. When you feel like that the forcefield comes down, the resistance drops, and everything can flow more easily. But you can't build self belief by ign
oring these symptoms: you need to understand your self belief saboteurs beyond those labels of procrastination, overwhelm, perfectionism, whatever your flavour is.
You need to look underneath the covers and see what's there. And when you've diagnosed your self-belief saboteurs then you can move on to the solution, then you know how you can tackle those things. Becoming aware is step one of taking your power back from them.
Ready to take action to boost your belief and your business dreams?
Come along to The Belief Retreat, a free event for business owners I'm facilitating live on Zoom,
3 x 1hr sessions on 3rd - 5th May 12, noon, UK time,
NEXT STEP BOOK A MINDSET RESET CALL WITH EMMA
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1. Help you get clarity about what's going on for you
2. Work out a way to for you to move forward
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